


blazing in gold and quenching in purple (the I'm too sexy for my shirt remix)

by rthstewart



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anthropomorphic, Background Relationships: Lucy/Liliandil, Flirting, Multi, Remix, So much flirting, caspian's purple shirt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26674963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rthstewart/pseuds/rthstewart
Summary: From the moment my first filaments were spun, I was destined to grace the superb form of the King of Narnia.
Relationships: Caspian/Edmund Pevensie
Comments: 23
Kudos: 72
Collections: Remix Revival 2020





	blazing in gold and quenching in purple (the I'm too sexy for my shirt remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WingedFlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WingedFlight/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Tidings From Beaversdam](https://archiveofourown.org/works/26317024) by [WingedFlight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WingedFlight/pseuds/WingedFlight). 



Blazing in Gold and quenching in Purple  
Leaping like Leopards to the Sky  
Then at the feet of the old Horizon  
Laying her spotted Face to die  
Stooping as low as the Otter's Window  
Touching the Roof and tinting the Barn  
Kissing her Bonnet to the Meadow  
And the Juggler of Day is gone.  
– Emily Dickinson

I'm too sexy for my love  
Too sexy for my love  
Love's going to leave me  
I'm too sexy for my shirt  
Too sexy for my shirt  
So sexy it hurts  
– Excerpted from _I’m Too Sexy_ by Right Said Fred

* * *

My reason for existing has always been three-fold -- to be beautiful, to be admired for that beauty, and to beautify the one who wore me. I don’t know precisely when I became aware of these immutable facts. Yet, I can feel in every fiber that I was always very carefully tended and nurtured so that I might fulfill this noble purpose.

It is odd, though, to be so exquisite and yet arise from such humble beginnings. I don’t remember, of course, but I understand that I came from a worm, many worms, tenderly cultivated. The strands of my existence came into being as I was lovingly boiled, unwound, spun, washed, and woven. The dying was, similarly, a dedicated and passionate labour to harvest those colours from the sea and then drench me in them.

Once I became a bolt of luxurious purple silk and was first draped over a form, I realized then that, from the moment my first filaments were spun, I had always been destined to grace the superb form of the King of Narnia.

The tailor, a very clever Faun named Niabi, held me up across Caspian’s chest. The King turned to look at himself in the mirror. Did he not see how luxurious I felt against his bare skin and how well I blended with the colour of his eyes and his complexion?

“Trumpkin? What do you think? It’s a bit much. Perhaps the blue instead.”

_Definitely not!_

“No!” Merla squawked. She flapped closer and perched on a chairback. “That blue looks to be common indigo or other plant and is some ordinary thread with none of the luster of fine silk.”

I made a point of sliding across the King’s chest so that he would have to catch the fall and admire how sensuous I was to the touch.

Caspian gently brought the fold up across his shoulder. “King Edmund did say that I always should trust a Crow in matters of color.”

“We do know best!” Merla replied. “That silk has a red cast that’s very unusual.”

“Merla speaks knowledgeably,” Niabi answered. “This is a very special and rare dye from sea snails. It would be very appropriate for a King and seafarer such as yourself and for your planned voyage to search for the Seven Lords.”

_I am special. I am rare._

“You look like a pirate,” Trumpkin muttered.

 _Dashing. You look dashing._ I tried to catch and reflect a bit more light to highlight the special sheen only I was capable of.

“Your Majesty is very handsome in that color!” Merla said.

_Yes! I make you handsome! Don’t you wish to be handsome, my King?_

Caspian sighed and gently folded me up. “Very well, Niabi. Do your finest.”

“You’ll want your prettiest feathers for courting!” Merla said.

I would be _excellent_ for courting and was therefore disappointed when Caspian just shook his head forlornly. “I am searching for the men who loved my father and whom Miraz betrayed. I’m not sailing the Eastern Sea for a year and a day to go courting.”

“You can do both,” Trumpkin said. “If you’re going to look like a dandy, might as well bring back a consort.”

“Best to be ready for _every_ eventuality, your Majesty,” Niabi put in. “If you do choose to court, you’ll want to be able to put your best hoof forward.”

“You’ll need shiny things like that shirt to impress!” Merla said. “If you don’t wear your best feathers, you'll never find yourself a mate. And better practice flying upside down, too."

* * *

The voyage had not been wonderful. I had spent far too much time in the clothes locker. I came out briefly in Galma and was much admired but Caspian was in a foul mood and put me away again. And this was, I realized mournfully, the problem. I needed to be admired and there was no one to admire me, and Caspian in me, and the way I flowed down his arms and back and pulled across his chest. It was such a waste of both of us.

Everything changed when Edmund splashed into the waters with his sister, Lucy, and their cousin, whose name I didn’t bother to learn for some time. Caspian dove into the sea to help bring the King and Queen aboard. The other one came too, regrettably before the sharks ate him.

I became very impatient when I heard Caspian was looking for a change of clothes and said to Lucy, “I’ll just get some dry things for myself.” His fingers brushed my softness as he searched the locker where I was waiting.

_Yes! Yes! Pick me! Show me off! Let me show you off to their Majesties!_

It was thrilling when Caspian, at last, gathered me up in his damp arms, as lovers long separated. (He picked up some other things, too, that were quite inferior to me, but necessary, like belts and trousers.) He hurried to the poop cabin and I met Edmund for the first time.

“Here, your Majesty.” Caspian set me and the other (inferior) things on a cushioned bench.

“My thanks. And it’s Edmund, Caspian. No need for such formalities between us.”

“Brother, then,” Caspian replied.

“I should hope not.”

I thought this a very interesting response and studied Edmund closely. He was dressed very peculiarly and it was very unbecoming on an otherwise handsome young man. He wasn't as handsome as Caspian, of course, but I deemed him acceptable. The Kings began shucking off their wet things and flinging them out the cabin door to dry. 

It was an excellent change of scenery as compared to the cupboards and even Galma. I very much enjoyed being with the Kings and the way they stood, smelled, laughed, and pushed wet hair from the eyes of the other. I decided that this was where I belonged, with these men and their contrasts of sharp and soft, hard and gentle, rough and smooth, severity and humour. 

I also considered this all a very promising development towards courting. Caspian had never been so happy nor looked so well and at ease as now when he was with Edmund. They were trying not to let the other see, but each was already admiring the other. I plainly had an important role to play here and was eager to begin moving things in a favourable direction.

Edmund turned to the clothes on the bench Caspian had brought. His hand paused over me and I was torn -- not literally of course. I had been destined for a King of Narnia, just not for him.

_Don’t pick me! Don’t pick me!_

Edmund’s hand moved over to an ordinary, white, linen shirt.

Caspian held me up. “Edmund, why don’t you wear this? Do you remember Merla, the Crow? She recommended it specifically. It’s very fine.”

_No! No!_

“Of course I remember Merla.” Edmund’s words were muffled as he pulled the white shirt over his head. “I would never contradict a Crow on such things, Caspian. So, please do us all the favour of wearing it instead.”

Caspian warmed to hear those words. Edmund seemed flushed, too. It was thrilling. It was wonderful to be so admired, and to be so pleasing to both Kings. Caspian raised his arms and I slipped over his head and settled gracefully on his shoulders, where I was meant to be.

Edmund reached out his hand and gently tugged at the collar. I didn’t need straightening, though, for I already embraced Caspian perfectly. Edmund just wanted to touch me, and touch me on Caspian.

“Yes,” Edmund said. “It is very fine, indeed.”

* * *

It had been a very long and very grim two days. Caspian had been sold like chattel and rescued, and had then thrown the Governor of the Lone Islands into gaol and installed Lord Bern as the new Governor. Throughout it all, Caspian wore me and looked very grand and commanding.

As we had ridden through the streets, I heard many women and men admiring Caspian, so that was quite pleasant. However we could not really enjoy it because we were both so anxious about Lucy, Edmund and Reepicheep (and the other one) being sold into slavery. Their rescue, though, had been achieved

And now I very much needed to be hung up to freshen and air.

It was not to be, however. Caspian moved into the Governor’s barn -- I wouldn’t deign to call it a castle -- it was a nasty barn, and very inferior to Narnian standards. It was dank and dreary, there was rubbish everywhere, and the bedding and rugs were mouldy and smelled. Mice and birds were nesting in all the cupboards and linens. I really thought we should just go back to the ship where I could at least get a proper airing out. But Caspian thought we should stay in the town because it was important to put on a good show -- though how he could do so when I was not at my best I didn’t understand at all.

Lord Bern and his people promised quick repairs to the barn and finer hospitality in the days ahead. But for the next few nights, we would be very uncomfortable. The barn only had a two bedrooms that were remotely livable, so Caspian and I would be sharing a room with Edmund, which was a very agreeable prospect, and with that other cousin person, which was not.

Dinner was tiresome. I was limp and didn’t feel very shiny. Lucy and Edmund were putting on a good face but they were obviously distressed and so Caspian was as well. Edmund excused himself early with Lucy. The other one bumbled off with them. Caspian and Lord Bern’s men were to camp on the grounds and Lord Bern and his Lady and his daughters (who properly admired me, but Caspian didn’t admire them at all) were going somewhere more refined in town.

“I will see to their Majesties,” Caspian told the ones still lingering over their wine by the fire in the drafty hall.

_Take a wine bottle. And two glasses._

Caspian tucked the bottle under his arm and held a glass in that hand. He hesitated, his hand poised over a second, chipped and mostly clean glass on the dining table.

_Yes. Yes. Take it._

He did.

Caspian climbed the stairs and slipped quietly into the room we would be sleeping in. The other one-- _Use? Useless?_ \-- was snoring in the one bed in the room, which meant Edmund and Caspian would be on the floor. I hoped I could at least be draped over something and not have to lie on the grimy carpets as they would be.

On the far side of the room, the double doors, which were very dirty and missing panes of glass, were open to the balcony that ran along the side of the barn and faced the harbour. A pleasant, salty breeze wafted through the room. I billowed out, taking in and enjoying the refreshing air and let it waft through my tired fibers. 

_Ah, that felt better. I could move and flutter again.  
_

“Edmund?” Caspian called softly.

Though it was dim, the moon gave enough light to reveal Edmund outside on the balcony and waving silently. Caspian stepped lightly through the room, slipped through the door to the balcony, and nudged the door with his hip to close it.

“I thought we might have some wine and talk?”

“I will have some of both, thank you.”

This was better. The ocean air had freshened me up and it was always gratifying to be with someone who admired me as Edmund did. 

I felt shinier already.

The clank of the bottle hitting the stone rail seemed very loud and somewhere out over the harbor a bird cried. Lord Bern’s men and the ship’s crew were singing and talking so loudly they could be heard from the other side of the barn.

Caspian poured for Edmund and handed him a glass.

“Thank you.” Edmund took a deep sip and then set the glass down again with a grimace. “Why couldn’t Gumpas have at least had better taste in spirits?”

“Perhaps he drank everything else, or has hidden the better bottles somewhere. Would Lucy like to join us for Gumpas’s bad wine?”

Edmund shook his head. “It’s kindly thought and on another night, she would. We do have much to discuss about these, your Lone Islands. But, for now, Lucy wishes to be alone to speak with Aslan. I just left her and was coming to look for you.” I felt Caspian shiver a little to hear this.

“How is she?”

“Very angry.” Edmund sighed and picked up his glass and swirled the wine, then set it back down. The odour was unpleasant, seeming to be more like vinegar than wine. Caspian set his own glass down.

“And she’s frightened, a little, I think, underneath the righteous fury. She knows what would have likely happened to a young, pretty, fair-haired girl away in the southern provinces. If she’d been very fortunate, she would have been groomed to join some Lord’s stable of mistresses, which would have put off for a little while the inevitable abuse, sale into the trade, and death by disease or violence.”

Edmund sighed and gestured with his hands to his own body. “In truth, that would have likely happened to all of us if we’d not been worked to death first.”

Caspian went stiff with fury. “ _Pug._ We’ll send him back to Narnia in irons and throw him into the…”

Edmund shook his head. “You pardoned him, remember?” He spoke firmly and quietly and there were layers of emotion and meaning buried in his controlled words -- frustration, anger, and rebuke. "You may not now simply renege Narnia's clemency."

This was the Just King speaking now. I could understand better who this man was and why Caspian so longed for his approval. It was also thrilling to know how much so great a man admired _me_. I wasn’t very fresh but I was very glad Caspian was still wearing me.

Caspian made a choking sound of dismay and bit out, “But Edmund, we cannot…”

I saw the weariness in Edmund; there was anger, and a little fear, like his sister. He'd had a narrow shave as well. He wanted neither to argue with Caspian, nor make the effort of trying to make Caspian feel better about the errors he had made. He needed Caspian’s comfort but wasn't able to ask for it.

Caspian, to his credit, stopped his outburst. “I’m sorry Edmund. Forgive me. You have been through a terrible trauma and were deeply wronged. I acted unthinkingly and should have waited for the views of the greatest legal mind in Narnian history before committing to anything.”

Edmund wouldn’t conceal the truth, but he would soften the blow in delivering it. He set his hand over Caspian’s that was resting on the stone rail. “Caspian, it took me years of learning. You will continue to improve. Teaching you Narnian justice is surely one reason I am here.” He stuttered to a pained stop and then added very quietly, “For only so long as Aslan wills it.”

 _Bugger Aslan._ These two men were kings and these kings were both idiots.

Edmund squeezed Caspian’s hand and didn’t withdraw it. I let myself fall down Caspian’s arm so that I fluttered at his wrist and grazed Edmund's fingertips.

_Touch me, Edmund. Stroke me. Touch us.  
_

Edmund ran his fingers over Caspian’s knuckles and then toyed with the finely stitched hem of my cuff.

_Now it was Caspian's turn. Edmund needs us now. Don’t you see it?_

He did. Caspian leaned closer, into an intimate space, and laced his fingers in Edmund’s own.

“If any harm had come to you, I would have killed him.”

“And risk that pretty shirt!?” Even if he didn’t say it, Caspian and I both heard _“Or risk that handsome body in that pretty shirt?”_

Edmund was mocking and it always made Caspian a little angry and quite warm. But Caspian had also learned how sincerity could sweeten Edmund’s harsher moods. “For you, yes, I would have risked even the shirt you are so very fond of.”

Did Edmund hear what Caspian meant but had not said, _“I would risk myself for you”?_

Caspian’s hand tightened around Edmund’s. He stepped closer, and slid his leg between Edmund’s own.

“We could…”

“We could go grope one another in some dark, cramped closet? With Eustace in the next room and your crew and Bern’s camped on every flat surface?”

_Yes! Oh, wait, no! I don’t want to be on that grubby floor._

“We could be very quiet.”

“If we are quiet, we’re doing a poor job of it.”

But Edmund thoughtfully brushed off his fingers on his own trousers and then gently grasped me by the front collar and pulled me and Caspian into a dark alcove of the balcony.

It was easier to be quiet when one mouth was covering the other and hands moved against soft, silent silk.

* * *

We had come to a place called Ramandu’s Island. Caspian had dressed up for the occasion and brought me out again. Now we were on the beach and Edmund was sitting quite close. Their legs were lined up, each against the other, and their toes were buried in white sand. The moon sat large and brilliant upon the quiet sea.

My sleeves fluttered in the night breeze and caressed Edmund’s arm. I could feel his skin rise to the touch and he drew in a quick breath to try to compose himself.

I grazed Edmund’s arm again.

Edmund and Caspian both turned to watch Lucy and Liliandil sway together and away, down the beach, in a haze of golden light. Their arms were wrapped about each other and their voices were raised in beautiful harmony, first one, then the other, then together. The Queen of Light and the Star shined upon one another, their radiance mingling with the moonlight. They took a path off the beach toward Liliandil’s pavilion and the dark woods of the island swallowed them up.

It was wonderful to be so loved and cherished. The Kings had continued to be quite stupid about what I felt every time Edmund was near Caspian and especially whenever Caspian was wearing me. Edmund's eyes would be upon me, his hands would linger on Caspian's hip, and, when his head was cushioned on Caspian's shoulder, I would whisper in Edmund's ear as Caspian did.

“Are you trying to court me, Caspian?”

 _Yes, yes he is._ _He just doesn’t know how to go about it, apart from wearing me._

“I … well…”

“I do not think you could wear that shirt and…”

“And?”

“And not be courting me.”

Did they not both hear how hopeful the other sounded? But Edmund could be harsh and Caspian could be unsure.

“Then yes, Edmund, I am. Merla did tell me that if I wished to court, I must dress in my finest feathers and present shiny things.” I could feel Caspian trembling.

Edmund raised his fingers to glide along the silk enveloping Caspian’s arm, stroking me and the King I clung to.

_Don’t I feel lovely? Don’t you wish for more than just fumbling touches in the shared hammock in the dark night? Don’t you want more than the rough, urgent kisses stolen in the darkness of a balcony and just beyond the light of a beach campfire?_

“I’m all sharp edges, Caspian.”

“I love that about you, Edmund. I’d never want to change that.”

“I’ll catch and snag on that fine shirt.”

_No, you won’t._

“No, you won’t,” Caspian replied.

Caspian turned and firmly placed Edmund's roaming hand flat on his chest. Now, only my smooth silk separated them.

Edmund scowled. He did that when he didn’t want to answer a question. But his hands didn't stop their slide across Caspian's body to find the places where I ended and warming skin began.

_Don't I feel lovely? Doesn't Caspian feel lovely? You could slide against, stroke, cling to, and caress Caspian as I do. All you must do is grasp him and this opportunity you both desire._

“This will end. It always does. I will have to return. There are things to do in England.”

“There’s so much to do here, too. Wouldn’t you rather stay?”

“My time is over, Caspian. I’m not needed here anymore.”

Caspian laughed and raised Edmund’s fingers to his lips and kissed the sword and quill callouses. His roughened hands would probably catch on my fine fibers but I deemed that minor when I could be loved as Edmund so plainly loved Caspian, and loved when Caspian wore me.

“Even if that were true, Edmund, and it is not, you are very much needed here. Wanted.”

_Desired._

“One condition then, no, two.” Edmund pulled his hands free and slid them up and around, so he could feel how smoothly I glided over Caspian’s skin and how strong Caspian was beneath his searching fingertips.

“First, you should wear this shirt every day.”

“It would wear through it if I did that.”

“Which brings me to condition two. Either this shirt,” and Edmund gently, so gently, tugged me up, over Caspian’s head, not once snagging me on his sharp edges, and carefully set me aside in the soft sand. “Or no shirt at all.”

* * *

My thanks to the betas.


End file.
